


my pants are not on fire, thank you

by GeekintheCorner



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Minor Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Protective Tony Stark, The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange 2020, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, i had a lot of fun writing this but idk if it makes sense, it has a tag!!!, over use of tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekintheCorner/pseuds/GeekintheCorner
Summary: "“We’re here to talk to you about SI’s internship initiative.”Peter sees his life flash before his eyes and struggles not to bolt out of the room."Or, a classic Stark Industries field trip fic with a little extra humor.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 27
Kudos: 1150
Collections: Peter Parker and his Embarassing Field Trips, The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange





	my pants are not on fire, thank you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Averin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Averin/gifts).



> This was written for [The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange on Tumblr](https://friendly-neighborhood-exchange.tumblr.com/) as a gift for [fromsiberia on Tumblr](https://fromsiberia.tumblr.com/) (Averin on AO3.) I chose to use prompt 1: "SI field trip (with focus on how noone believes Peter, teachers included, and oh how wrong they were." Though I do have an idea for number 2 that may turn into a multi-chap at some point. I had almost to much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy it too!
> 
> Disclaimer: I in no way own any recognizable characters and all rights should go to Marvel.

Mr. Harrignton’s smile is mocking him, Peter’s sure of it. For some reason his teacher had decided that Peter needed to be tortured. That must have been the only reason he had applied to gain the annual SI field trip from the school district. And now Peter is suffering because of it.

Peter sighs deeply and buries his head into his arms that are crossed over the bus seat in front of him. MJ turns her head to glance back at him, “What’s the worst that could really happen Parker? Some lowly intern recognizes you?”

Peter peers over the sleeves of his hoodie at her while Ned shifts nervously beside him. At least MJ believes he has an internship, even if she doesn’t know quite how extensive it is. Most, if not all, of the rest of the people on the bus believe he’s a big. Fat. Liar. Flash had actually told him his pants were on fire the last time he got to leave decathlon practice early for a weekend at the Tower.

Before Peter can come up with a properly secret identity concealing response Flash cuts in incredulously, “Jones you don’t seriously believe this idiot do you?”

Think of the devil...

MJ’s narrowed eyes stare Flash down, “So what if I do?”

He splutters. “Well you can’t- Parker couldn’t possibly-”

The people in the surrounding seats are watching the confrontation. Peter fights the urge to sink down in his seat.

Flash finally seems to compose himself and straightens in his seat. “Not even the teachers believe him, it just doesn’t make sense that _Parker_ could get a _Stark_ internship.” He raises his voice, “Isn’t that right Mr. Harrington?”

At this point the entire bus has gone quiet.

Their teacher turns away from his conversation with the bus driver and focuses on the group of students in the back. “Is what right?”

Flash smirks smugly at Peter. “You don’t believe that Parker has a Stark internship, do you?”

Mr. Harrington’s mouth thins and Peter feels his last hope float away into the abyss.

“It does seem highly unlikely that Stark Industries is allowing a sixteen year old intern for them. H-”

Whatever Mr. Harrington was going to say gets lost as the bus pulls into the tower’s guest parking lot and the rest of the students go crazy. Flash sneers at him one last time before turning to hurriedly collect his stuff along with the rest of the class. 

Peter finally allows himself to slide down the cracked pleather seats. “This is a nightmare.”

Ned pats him on the shoulder in what Peter thinks is supposed to be a reassuring way. “It could be worse.”

***

Peter’s plan is to keep his head down, hope no one he knows sees him, and get out without his face freezing into a shade of red. 

He’s lost Ned at some point in the scramble to enter the lobby. Peter can’t blame him for wanting to stick towards the front and see everything, but he can pout about it as he sulks near the back of the group.

“Your face is going to get stuck like that,” MJ’s flat voice comes from right beside him and he almost jumps out of his skin. 

“MJ!” he yell-whispers. “I thought you were up front.”

She shrugs. “I thought it’d be more interesting to hang out back here.” Peter blushes and her eyes go a bit wide. “I mean- It’ll be fun to watch you embarrass yourself. Parker.”

MJ ducks her head down to swipe at her phone and Peter looks away and to the front desk where Mr. Harrington is checking in the group. 

The secretary, an unfamiliar one, is smiling at the class’ chaperones and none of them are looking his way. Yet.

A few minutes of awkwardly avoiding any eye contact later Mr. Harrington finally claps his hands together and the class quiets down. “Alright kids, one quick security scan and we’re on our way!” 

….oh no. FRIDAY.

She’s going to scan him. She’s going to call him Petey. He’s going to have to explain to the entire class why Tony freaking Stark’s AI was calling him a nickname. An embarrassing one too. 

His feet move on autopilot until he’s the next person in line. 

“Welcome to Stark Tower Ms. Jones.” FRIDAY’s robotic voice comes through the speakers loudly enough for anyone near to hear. 

ohnoohnoohnoohno

“Peter?” Mr. Harrington is looking at him with a stern look. Peter contemplates refusing to walk through, but decides that would undoubtedly be worse. 

Taking a deep breath he steps into the marked off circle and steels himself for the embarrassment to come. “Welcome to Stark Tower Peter.”

Huh. That wasn’t nearly as bad as he pictured. Maybe Tony hadn’t programmed the nickname into the guest entrance? Or maybe FRIDAY isn’t supposed to be as personable here?

Mr. Harrington nods happily and gives his spot over to a stockily built guy Peter’s never met before.

“Alright everybody!” he claps his hands together in an almost exact imitation of Mr. Harrington a few minutes ago, maybe it’s an instinct when talking to a group of teenagers. “My name is Mateo and I’m your tour guide for today. If you’ll follow-”

Something sharp pokes Peter in the shoulder. 

“MJ!” he glares at her place beside him in the group. “What was that for?”

“The AI called you _Peter_.”

“Uh, yeah?”

The look MJ gives him clearly conveys how thick she thinks he’s being. “So why did it do that?”

In the elated relief of not being called Petey by a multi-billion dollar AI in front of his classmates, the fact that he was the only one not addressed by his last name hadn’t even registered. A quick glance at the rest of the group only turns up a few curious glances in his direction. “That’s uh, just an intern thing. All the interns have that, um, benefit.”

“Right.” MJ looks entirely unconvinced but thankfully drops the subject as Ned comes bouncing back from the front of the group. Peter gives one final nervous glance around before he focuses on his friend’s excited rambling. 

**

Peter bounces his leg anxiously from where he’s sitting in one of the tower’s many conference room’s. After an educational tour around the lower floors and the highly exciting Avenger’s museum (Peter had gotten an endless amount of joy out of watching Flash fawn over the Spider-man display) with absolutely no identity related problems, Peter is on edge. Hopefully he can get through the last four things on the schedule without any other dilemmas. Because that’s likely.

The door to the conference room opens to reveal three people in short white lab coats walking through. The first is a redheaded guy Peter has never seen but the second two….. 

Peter hisses lightly through his teeth and pulls his sweater’s hood down over his head as far as he can. Ned and MJ exchange a confused look from beside him. “I know them,” he whispers in explanation. Before either of them can comment the redheaded man begins to speak. 

“Hello everyone! It’s a pleasure as always to have bright young minds visiting us here at Stark Industries. My name is Phil and these are my colleagues, Beth and Maya.” He gestures towards a smiling blonde woman and a tall woman with blue-green hair in turn. “We’re here to talk to you about SI’s internship initiative.”

Peter sees his life flash before his eyes and struggles not to bolt out of the room.

“Now of course you all are too young to apply now, but once you enter college I would highly recommend applying to the New Minds internship program. For today- um yes, do you have a question….?”

_No._

“Flash Thompson.” the bane of Peter’s existence turns his head minutely to stare at Peter’s hoodie covered face. “I’m just a bit confused about the age restrictions.”

“Oh?” Phil’s eyebrows draw together. “Why so?”

“Well it’s just I’ve heard some people my age talk about getting in. To the internship program.”

“No, I’m afraid that applications are only open to young adults who are at least eighteen.” 

“Well thanks for clearing that up then.” Flash smiles widely, still staring Peter down from across the table. 

Peter suffers through the rest of the, admittedly well put together, presentation in silence, deliberately ignoring the disgusted looks coming from his classmates and teacher. He trails behind a chatting MJ and Ned as Mateo leads them to the cafeteria. He already knows the way from randomized trips to grab snacks when Tony decided take out would take too long, not that anyone would believe him. 

A hand suddenly grabs his shoulder right before he leaves the conference room. 

“Gah!” Peter swings around ready to defend himself only to come face to face with Maya.

She puts her hands up and smiles, “Whoa hey, Peter. Just me.”

“Oh. Sorry about that Maya.” He rubs at the back of his neck.

“You’re fine Pete.” Maya smiles widely. “I just wanted to say hi now that the presentation is over and I won’t embarrass you.”

“You wouldn’t have embarrassed me.” Peter smiles back. She has no idea how little that would have embarrassed him compared to what actually happened. 

“Well, we can talk more now anyway. Do you want to pop over to Dr. Green’s office and drop off some papers with me? I can walk you back to your group after.”

“Sure.” The class had already moved on anyway so he might as well take a break from the judgy looks. 

**

Maya drops him off at the lunch line citing the need to buy a coffee and wishing him well. Peter grabs his food, spots where Ned is, and starts the trek across the shining tile floor. Mr. Harrington stops him in his tracks.

“Peter.” The usually jovial teacher’s eyes are stern and judging. “Where were you?”

“I- I was helping Maya-”

“No! Peter stop lying. We all heard the presenter, you aren’t an intern here and I refuse to continue with this charade.”

“But-”

“There are no more buts Mr. Parker! Go sit down, we’ll discuss this more when we get back to the school.” He storms off before Peter can say another word.

A burst of laughter comes from the table opposite Ned’s. Peter can feel his face and neck turning bright red as he ducks his head and rushes across the cafeteria to the relative safety of his friend’s company. And away from an observing intern.

**

The last event of the day was supposed to be a trip to one of the higher level labs. At the last minute their tour announces that this has been changed to yet another presentation, only this time with a “surprise.”

Peter couldn’t care less to be honest. At this point he simply wants to get home so he can have some of Aunt May’s out-of-the-packet hot cocoa and text Tony about the irony of being in the Tower without Tony knowing. 

Loud gasping pulls Peter’s attention from where he had been picking at a fraying string on his sleeve. His eyes meet the sunglasses of genius, billionaire, philanthropist Tony Stark. AKA, his sort-of-kinda mentor-dad. 

The rest of the class has gone wild, pulling out their phones and yelling for autographs. Even Ned is vibrating in his seat with barely suppressed excitement. Only he and MJ are still sitting still. Peter because he is in fact now terrified for his already destroyed social standing, and MJ probably because she’s too chill. 

Tony motions for everyone to be quiet and like magic the room of teenagers goes deathly quiet. 

“Hiya kids, I hope you all have had an enjoyable and educational experience here at my humble skyscraper.” The noise picks up again as everyone rushes to answer in the affirmative, but Tony quiets them down once again. “However, we’ve got one more thing to show you guys before you go.” And then Tony winks, right at Peter. He _winked_. 

He’s doomed. He’s so freaking doomed.

Suddenly the door opens to Maya pushing an overly familiar device into the room. The students around him are all leaning forward in their seats to get a better look at the robot. Peter and Tony’s robot.

Tony gestures to the machine in front of him. “This is a project I and a leading intern of mine have been working on. You guys will be the first outsiders to see it in action.”

Oh no.

“Pete, you want to come up here and help me tell these kids what your brainchild does?” There’s no remorse in Tony’s tone and a glint in his eye. Peter wants to sink into the ground as every single head in the room swings to gape at him. 

“Peter?!” Flash and Mr. Harrington squeak out in sync. 

MJ nudges him with her foot, propelling him into standing and shuffling towards the front of the room. Tony gently squeezes his shoulder when he reaches the front and Peter feels a bit of the anxiety he’s been carrying all day melt away. 

“And you’re sticking around after the class leaves right? May already said it was fine.”

“Uh-” Peter glances in Mr. Harrington’s direction.

“Oh if it’s fine with your teacher of course.” Tony turns a full teeth grin on the man in question.

“O- Of course.” His eyes are wide and bewildered. Peter almost feels bad. “As long as it’s fine with Mrs. Parker of-”

“Great! We’ll order pizza, even that pineapple abomination you like.” Peter’s face turns red yet again, but Tony plows on. “Now, to talk about this project. Peter had the wonderful idea to make a first response drone. One that can deploy basic first aid and the like. Of course it’s still a work in progress, but we’re well on our way to a working model. Pete, would you like to elaborate on how you came up with the idea?” 

Peter blinks rapidly. “Um, sure. See I- When-” Tony smiles gently at him to continue. Peter straightens his stance and clears his throat. “I first came up with the idea when I began to explore ways to solve the problem of slow emergency response times.”

The look of confusion on Flash’s face throughout Peter’s speech and as he waves the rest of his class away from the building is one he’ll never forget or stop laughing about.

**Author's Note:**

> Overall this was an extremely fun piece to write, and I worry I may have over used some tropes, but hopefully they all worked well together. Be sure to check out fromsiberia's Tumblr and maybe give [mine ](https://geekinthecorner.tumblr.com/) a look while your at it.


End file.
